The letter below illustrates what you should not do. Brian asks to have his application reconsidered, but he does not present any significant new information for reconsidering the decision. The increase in his GPA from a 3.3 to a 3.35 is fairly trivial. His newspaper has been nominated for an award, but it has not won the award. Moreover, Brian writes as if he has been rejected, not deferred. The university will look at his application again with the regular pool of applicants.
The biggest problem with the letter below, however, is that Brian comes across as a whiner, an egotist, and an ungenerous person. He clearly thinks very highly of himself, placing himself above his friend and making much ado about a modest 3.3 GPA. Does Brian really sound like the type of person the admissions officers will want to invite to join their campus community? To make matters worse, the third paragraph in Brian's letter essentially accuses the admissions officers of making a mistake in admitting his friend and deferring him. The goal of Brian's letter is to strengthen his chances of getting in to college, but questioning the competence of the admissions folks works counter to that goal.Office of Admissions
100 Crouse-Hinds Hall
900 South Crouse Avenue
Syracuse, NY 13244-2130
To Whom It May Concern:
I am writing in regards to my deferral for admission to Syracuse University for the fall semester. I received a letter earlier this week informing me that my admission had been deferred. I would like to urge you to reconsider me for admission.
As you know from my previously submitted admissions materials, I am a very strong student with an outstanding academic record. Since I submitted my high school transcript in November, I have received another set of mid-year grades, and my GPA has gone up from a 3.3 to 3.35. In addition, the school newspaper, of which I am assistant editor, has been nominated for a regional award.
Frankly, I am somewhat concerned about the status of my admission. I have a friend at a nearby high school who has been admitted to Syracuse through early admissions; yet I know that he has a somewhat lower GPA than mine, and has not been involved in as many extracurricular activities. Although he is a good student, and I certainly do not hold anything against him, I am confused about why he would be admitted while I have not been. Frankly, I think that I am a far stronger applicant.
I would very much appreciate it if you could take another look at my application, and reconsider my admissions status. I believe I am an excellent student, and would have much to contribute to your university.