A good appeal letter shows that you understand what went wrong and that you are being honest with yourself and the appeals committee. If your appeal is to succeed, you must show that you take responsibility for your low grades.
Brett's appeal letter fails on this front. His first paragraph sets the wrong tone when he states that many of the problems he encountered "were not my fault." Immediately he sounds like a student who lacks the maturity and self-awareness to own up to his own shortcomings. A student who tries to place blame elsewhere is a student who is not learning and growing from his mistakes. The appeals committee will not be impressed.
It gets worse. In the second paragraph, Brett's claim that he works "really hard" sounds hollow. How hard is he really working if he has just failed out of college for low grades? And if he is working hard but getting low grades, why hasn't he sought out help in assessing his learning difficulties?
The rest of the paragraph actually suggests that Brett does not work hard. He says his "math professor was not clear about what would be on the final, and did not give us notes to study from." Brett seems to think he is still in grade school and he will be spoon fed information and told exactly what will be on his exams. Alas, Brett needs to wake up to college. It is Brett's job to take notes, not his professor's job. It is Brett's job to figure out what information has received the most emphasis in class and is therefore most likely to be on exams. It is Brett's job to work hard outside of the classroom so that he has mastery over all of the material covered throughout the semester.
But Brett is not done digging himself into a hole. His complaint about his instructor's English sounds petty if not racist, and the comments about receiving his grade over email is irrelevant to the appeal and shows laziness and ignorance on Brett's part (because of privacy issues and FERPA laws, most professors will not give out grades over email).
When Brett talks about his English class, he again looks to blame anyone but himself. He seems to think that taking a paper to the Writing Center will somehow magically transform his writing. He seems to think that a feeble effort at revision represents hard work deserving of a higher grade. When Brett complains that "she would never give me a higher grade," he reveals that he thinks grades are given, not earned.
Brett's claim that the professor didn't like him and made inappropriate comments raises a couple of issues. Professors aren't required to like students. Indeed, after reading Brett's letter, I don't like him very much. However, professors should not let their fondness or dislike of a student affect their evaluation of the student's work. Also, what was the nature of the inappropriate comments? Many professors will make snide comments to students who are slacking off, not paying attention, or being disruptive in some way. However, if the comments were in some way racist, sexist or in any way discriminatory, then they are indeed inappropriate and should be reported to the professor's Dean. In Brett's case, these vague accusations of inappropriate comments sound as if they belong in the former category, but this is an issue the appeals committee will want to investigate further.
Finally, Brett's plan for future success sounds weak. "Maybe get a tutor"? Brett -- you need a tutor. Get rid of the "maybe" and act. Also, Brett says that homework was "one reason" he didn't get enough sleep. What were the other reasons? Why was Brett always sleeping through class? How will he address the time management problems that have left him exhausted all the time? Brett provides no answers to these questions.
In short, Brett has made a losing appeal in his letter. He doesn't seem to understand what went wrong, and he put more energy into blaming others than figuring out how to improve his academic performance. The letter provides no evidence that Brett will succeed in the future.
